Bird Flu?!!!

There is a certain tangible fear that is different than any other sort when it comes to a sick child. It makes "Fear Factor" just an annoying TV show that has nothing to do with real fear. Real fear is a new feeling for me. I think perhaps it is only something a parent can feel.

Thursday, we spent two hours at the doctor's office to find out that I had the flu. So, off I went wearing a mask so as not to breathe on my children. We tried to have Abby spend lots of time with Papa or Nana so she would not be around me while I was contagious. And I slept with that mask on so that I wouldn't breathe on Nathan while breastfeeding him, because he's sooo little.

Unfortunately, Saturday morning, he woke up fussier than normal...but then he's hardly ever fussy at all. And he didn't want me to put him down for a second, even to change his diaper. And he felt a bit warm. I took his temp and it was 99.7. So I called the doctor's office and they are running a "urgent care" clinic on Saturdays, and I can see a nurse practioner if I want. Or I can call the peds hotline and see what they think I should do. So I call, and she asks how I took the temp...under the arm...did I add one degree? No...that makes it 100.7. That' s pretty high for a 2 months old. We'll go to the clinic.

Two hours sitting around at the clinic, we finally get called in. They take a temp in his ear and it is normal. He looks fine to her. But to me, he still feels hot. I don't think she took the temp right. She seems unsure of whether to send us home, but because he's so little and because I was just diagnosed with the flu, she sends us to the ER because the weekend skeleton crew there can't do bloodwork or anything.

So off we go to the ER. Nathan feels so hot and he just wants to sleep. He's not wiggling or anything. At the ER, the nurse takes a rectal temp. 102.4!!! It seems like forever while they consult about what to do. Meanwhile, I'm trying to swab him with a wet paper towel. Anything to cool him down a bit.

They come back with a plan to start fluids anyway, because he's getting dehydrated at that temperature. The nurse fumbles around starting an IV in his poor little arm. He's awake and crying, and his eyes are searching for you and he locks onto you with a pleading gaze..."Help, mommy! Make it stop!" He's never felt this much pain, and he can't understand it, and you can't help him and it just makes you cry. But that' s not the worst.

The test for the flu is a skinny swab up his nose flushing it with water and sucking it back out. This is torturous to any adult, and he's crying again. They start the fluids and he starts to settle in and cool down.

Hours later, the flu test comes back negative. Of course, it is an antibody test, so if he hasn't got any antibodies, it won't be detected. But now they must consider what else it might be. Chest xray gets done. Looks fine. The bloodwork starts to come back. It all looks fine. So, now it comes down to ruling out meningitis. They'll have to do a spinal tap. This scares the crap out of me because I used to work in an ER. I know the dirty complications of that test if it gets screwed up. Every instinct tells me to refuse it. Don't hurt my boy anymore. But then, he explains that if it IS meningitis and they don't catch it right away, in Nathan's age group, it is nearly always fatal. Then they go away and leave you alone with your poor baby who is resting, but still hottish. Fatal hangs in the air and then you start to comprehend real fear. Lose this little one? You stroke his little bald head and feel his breath on your neck and you know you just can't go there. You hate to do it to him, but if the other option might mean death...well, I guess we have to tap his spine.

After that gets done, and things are fine...not meningitis either, he's looking so much better. His fever is down and he's starting to look around and act normal. But since they don't know what it is, we'll have to spend the night for observation and fluids.

So, it's a long night that you didn't plan for. You didn't tell Abby you wouldn't be there to tuck her in. Nathan has trouble sleeping because he can't lay on his back (tap site is sore) or one side (IV site strapped to a board so he can't bend his elbow). By morning, he's much better. The repeat flu test is positive. Well, duh, you think. Influenza A. I looked it up online when we got home. It's carried by birds. We've had bird flu! And quite a scare. Dirty birds!!!