Needles

So I don't have a thing against needles. Yeah, they hurt. I don't get squeamish or hyper about them, tho.

I went this morning to get some blood drawn for a recheck on my thyroid levels. It had to be a "fasting" blood draw so they could check cholesterol and other levels. I admit, I am a bit fascinated by the whole process. Sometimes I think I could like filling vials with blood as a job, but then I think they have to stand all day and change gloves a zillion times and make babies cry. Maybe not so much fun day in and day out.

Right after that, I went to the ultrasound area for my ultrasound guided needle biopsy of my thyroid nodule. I have a nodule. It was discovered toward the end of college when they discovered my thyroid was lazy. I don't know if the nodule caused the thyroid problem, or if it was the other way around, or if they were related at all. But you can feel it like a grape on my throat. Apparently, I had an ultrasound of it a year or so ago, and it showed the nodule had a cyst, or was cystic. Medical terms baffle me. I thought the nodule was a cyst, but apparently, they have medically different meanings. So because it was cystic, they wanted to do a biopsy just to be safe.

I had a needle biopsy when it was discovered, but it wasn't ultrasound guided. They doc just stuck a massive needle in my neck and held it there while he LOOKED AWAY at my chart, and then got his tissue and pulled it back out. Mom was there and said it looked like the needle should have poked out the backside of my neck.

Today, i didn't get a good look at the needle. I had a headache. I had to get into a gown. The room was dark and warm and mostly I just wanted to take a nap.

Sargeant Pundsack (I'm terrible with names. I never remember someone I just met, especially if I don't expect to see them again. Honestly, I only remember his name because I thought he said something perverse and had to look again at his uniform) was the tech and did some initial measurements with the ultrasound. And I was very distracted because they squirt that jelly stuff on my neck and I'm wondering what exactly is that jelly stuff made of because the room had a weird smell. And unfortunately, after the name introduction, my mind was apparently in the gutter.

So we had to wait a bit for the doctor. He was a good talker. He went over every risk involved, the procedure, and every step he was going to do before we even signed the consent form. As he was doing the procedure, he would say he was going to do something before he did it. They used a "sterile tray" and draped my neck and everything. First he injected some numbing stuff, and it burned. Then they started digging around with the needle. I think they took three samples at different distances from the cyst. They may have numbed it, but there is a different kind of deep tissue bruising that occurs while the needle is poking around. I was feeling that kind of pain, but was afraid to talk or scream because they have a sharp pointy object real close to my voicebox. They had said not to swallow, so I was afraid to move at all. I was wiggling my foot and clenching my hands and grunted a few times when it was real bad.

One bandaid later, they send me on my way. It was about 11 am by this time, so I called Sean and met Nathan and him at Qdoba because I was STARVING. I still had my headache, and now it hurt to swallow. Come to find out that our Qdoba is no longer offering the $5 meal for military on Tuesdays. SADNESS! We ordered anyway, but even though it was my favorite lunch and I was starving, I think the headache or the exhaustion or the funky smelling ultrasound jelly made me somewhat queasy. I had a really odd there-but-not-there kind of feeling that was making it hard to eat. Double sadness!

Got home and actually got a bit of a nap and felt like a new person. We went to dinner with Papa at Smokey Bones as it was school night there. 100% of their profits were being donated to Abby's school.

Our waitress was one we've had before. She has studs pierced into her lips and wears low cut scoop neck shirts that show off matching rainbow arches with stars tatoos on her cleavage. I don't get squeamish about needles, but unless there is a medical purpose, I don't think I would voluntarily get poked. Especially there. And I'm bad with names, like I said. At one point, Papa calls a pop quiz and asks Sean and me what our waitress's name is. Sean can't remember, but I remember back to the good ol' Quiz Bowl days. When you don't know, just say SOMETHING.

"Rainbow Bright?" I offer, which I don't think dad was expecting, but he managed to keep a straight face.

And, yes, my neck still hurts. And I'm left to wonder...If I had to have this much soreness anyway, why couldn't they just poke that needle differently and DRAIN the cyst and get rid of the lump altogether? Hmm...